A good mentor is not impressed with you.

Your accomplishments, network, Twitter followers, or size of your organization doesn’t give you more stock with him. He’s not focusing on those things. He wants to help you develop stronger character. He’s looking past your  brilliant ideas to make sure you can handle any level of success those ideas bring.

A good mentor will share his shortcomings with you.

Failing is something that all great influencers have in common. Those that say otherwise are either lying or they are not a great influencer. A good mentor should be open with you on how he’s failed. Those are great lessons to learn. A smart man learns from his mistakes, while a wise man learns from others’ mistakes.

A good mentor will talk about more than business.

You need someone who can help you see the big picture. All the areas of your life are connected. Success at the office is affected by success at home. Influence in the community is connected to your walk with God. A good mentor will help you see these connections. More importantly, he will show you through his own life how they are connected.

I’m thankful for men like Frank, Tom, Dave, and Chris who do all these and more.

Who are the mentors in your life? What are they teaching you?

1. The person who has not been where you want to go but is telling you how to get there.

This is the single person giving marriage advice, or the couple with no kids giving parenting advise. Educated guesses at best, but there are plenty of people out there that are more qualified. Seek their advise. I’d rather learn from a tour-guide (who has been there) than from a travel agent (who sits in a cubicle in Arizona had pronounces Nice, France wrong).

2. The person who has nothing but criticism.

I don’t mind if you don’t like my ideas, my books, my products. I don’t mind if you tell me what’s wrong with them, but only if you have suggestions to make it better. Criticism just to criticize is jaded and immature. Seek those who can help you with ideas of how to make you better.

3. The guilty sluggard.

Many times people will try and hold you back from going for your dream because they are guilty they never went for there’s. “I don’t think you have time to write a book,” they say. Really what they mean is, I waste days every month watching TV, playing X-Box, and surfing the web, so if you write a book, I’ll feel even worse about my laziness. You will definitely make others jealous of your dedication, don’t let them hold you back.

Exciting Changes

In the fall of 2011, there will be new ways to join Backstage Leadership. No longer is Backstage Leadership just a 6 month development program. Backstage Leadership is the connecting place for 20 and 30 somethings leaders, innovators, and creatives.

- Join the Green Room, our new and improved private gathering and training program with top leaders.
- Don’t have time for 6 months? Join the member only website to view premium content, connect with other young leaders, and learn about private gatherings near your city.
- Add your name to the directory to network and connect with leaders from around the country. It will be a place for great content and connection.
- Invite only live events in cities like Chicago, Atlanta, and Charlotte.

Sign Ups for The Green Room are now open. Spots are very limited so register early. Sign up here.

1. Lord, help me base my identity and purpose in pleasing you, not on the success of my organization.

It’s very easy to shift your purpose and sense of value on to your accomplishments rather than on who you are in Christ. We want to see growth, change, success, revenue, impact. That’s why we started what we started. But the bottom line for your organization is not the bottom line for who you are. Don’t confuse the two.

2. Lord, let this organization be bigger than me.

If you are trying to build “Your Name, Inc.”, I think you are dreaming selfishly and honestly too small. Why not build something that is bigger than you and about more than you? Don’t just grow so your name is seen on more signs. Find ways to help others grow, develop, and impact the world.

3. Lord, let a win for the kingdom, be a win for me.

What if you passed on a contract because it would mean a bigger win for the kingdom? What if you gave up part of your budget to launch another church and put your building fund on hold? If we are to change the world with our enterprises, we must continue to pray for the big picture first and how we fit into it.

4. Lord, remind me that even though I started this, I’m still just a steward.

It’s not really your organization. It’s not really your church, book, non-profit, band, art-gallery, or whatever it is that you lead, started, or produced. You are just the steward. It is a gift from God. Keeping this in mind will help you with the other three prayers as well.

When finding a partner or a new hire for your start-up, organization, church plant, etc., look for this person.

They get stuff done. Period.

They take a project or a need and they get it done. They don’t need a lot of instruction from you. Rarely do they need a lot of steps.  You tell them the need or problem and they get it done. This person is invaluable and will free you up to get more accomplished. One of the best ways I’ve found is to give people some small tasks before you hire them full-time. See how much input they need from you. If they produce a good product with minimum input from you, they may be a good fit for your team.

I go to a lot of meetings. I bet you do to . Have  you ever met with someone, but it felt like they weren’t actually there? It’s annoying and distracting. You ask a question and (excuse me, let me respond to this tweet). Then they ask you a question and (hold on, let me see who just emailed.) You’re right in the middle of a story when (I’m sorry, let me grab this call. I don’t recognize the number).

You get my point.

Make a good impression at your next meeting. Try these 3 tips

1. Don’t answer your phone. Actually, don’t even have it on the table. Keep it in your bag or pocket. If you have a potential emergency, like you’re wife is 8 months, 3 weeks and 6 days pregnant, leave the meeting you’re being a bad husband! Other wise, focus on the meeting.

2. Focus your eyes on the person you’re talking to. This applies especially at a conference or gathering where you know other people. Don’t keep looking over their shoulder hoping to spot a bigger catch. If you keep looking at other people while you talk with me, I figure out pretty quickly you’d rather not talk with me. Either be in the conversation or don’t start it.

3. Be on time. You know the saying, 5 minutes early is on-time, on-time is late, and late is unacceptable? Well, learn it and live by it. Being late says you’re more important than the person you’re meeting. Time is most people’s greatest asset. Respect them by showing up on time. Every time.

These are all so important, especially if you are fund raising or recruiting supporters for your new venture. Don’t lose people before you have a chance to get them.

What are your meeting tips? How have people made a bad first impression with you?

As you know, I am a huge supporter of starting something new. I love it. I may be addicted to it. So, if you ask me whether or not you should start something, odds are, I’m going to say yes. But, there are circumstances when partnering makes more sense. There is an untapped market for collaboration out there. These are not rules set in stone, but just circumstances where partnering may be a good fit.

When does partnering make more sense?

- When you can go further, faster, and still be in line with your vision and purpose.

- When your strengths and their strengths compliment each other.

- When you can get as much done in less time.

- When it will take less resources to accomplish the vision.

- When both parties have different networks, which makes marketing easier.

- When the two teams combined brings more creativity and excitement.

- When you are tired of working alone.

What are your experiences from partnering? What would you add to the list?